Things to Procrastinate on While Studying for Finals

  1. Clean for the first time all semester.
  2. Write a novel.
  3. Cry.
  4. Use your tears to water the succulent that’s half-dead on your windowsill.
  5. Pet a dog.
  6. Clean your laptop screen.
  7. Make a to-do list that lists all the to-do lists you have yet to make.
  8. Lie on the floor.
  9. Pet two dogs.
  10. Learn a new language.
  11. Make a scrapbook out of Walmart receipts.
  12. Read the instructions on the nearest fire extinguisher. Then read them backwards.
  13. Take a walk.
  14. Write your second novel.
  15. Rig all the microwaves in your dorm to beep at the same time.
  16. Redecorate your roommate’s side of the room.
  17. Clean out the fridge.
  18. Vacuum the ceiling.
  19. Sort your socks alphabetically.
  20. Make a Rube Goldberg machine.
  21. Make a blanket fort.
  22. Train yourself to be ambidextrous.
  23. Adopt a rock.
  24. Calculate the number of minutes you’ve been alive.
  25. Make a map of the tunnels on Seton Hill’s campus, including the ones you plan to make.
  26. Revive your 90’s haircut.
  27. Invent a time-travel machine to go back and do your homework.
  28. Invent a robot to study for you.
  29. Drink some water.
  30. Read all of Shakespeare’s plays out loud.
  31. Look up the Malagasy leaf-nosed snake.
  32. Take the last text from each of the eight most recent conversations on your phone, then string them together to make a story.
  33. Cook some food.
  34. Burn your initials into a desk with a magnifying glass.
  35. Teach yourself to speak in iambic pentameter.
  36. Pet all the dogs.
  37. Cry some more.
  38. Read a newspaper front to back.
  39. Write for the Setonian.

Click here to read Bridget Malley’s Senior Speak-Out article in our May 2017 Magazine.

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