There is a definition of normal and a definition for abnormal, then there is a definition for the just plain weird. Although I cannot exactly spill out Webster’s version of “weird,” I can give you a few nouns that will raise some eyebrows and filter thoughts of contemplation through your mind. Examples of things that are evidently unnatural to the world.
By Tiffany Gilbert
Editor in Chief
There is a definition of normal and a definition for abnormal, then there is a definition for the just plain weird. Although I cannot exactly spill out Webster’s version of “weird,” I can give you a few nouns that will raise some eyebrows and filter thoughts of contemplation through your mind. Examples of things that are evidently unnatural to the world.
Snuggies, A Hello-Kitty doorknob, a yellow robot that “eats” your money that you tenderly call Robbie, ant farms, a collection of pillow tags, a large griffin hand puppet, a kid-sized Batman costume that an average-sized college student still proudly wears, a pillow case you have named “Softy,” an octopus lamp that illuminates neon pink light, snowflake footie pajamas, a brown-eyed doll with curly hair and a tuxedo, a blanket with monkeys eating oranges, a pillow “person” with arms that protrude from its head and an emperor penguin shower curtain.
It is nice to step back and take a glance at the abnormal things in life. Though the production of a newspaper is typically dry, bland, and scheduled, or unless there is crazy breaking news, there is not much excitement to look forward to. The Setonian mainly covers the news on campus and within the Greensburg community and in the past four years at this university, I have come to find SHU fits into the “normal” category.
To spice things up, I will take you around the globe to a few locations that have created, witnessed, and even reported on “the weird.”
In Michigan, pet store owner Sean Murphy stuffed sixteen Madagascar hissing cockroaches into his mouth in an attempt to set a new world record. The old record was eleven cockroaches. Way to be an overachiever, Murph; all you had to pack in was twelve. SHU students – we can learn a lot from the moral of the story: why only stuff twelve when you can fit sixteen?
Eight years ago in Australia, two men broke into a 71 year-old woman’s home. These men threatened her life and stole $300. During the investigation, police found a leech on the floor of her home and took it for evidence. A sample of blood was drawn from the leech and DNA tested. Recently, police arrested Peter Cannon for a drug offense and his DNA was found to match the blood sample from the leech. Cannon admitted to the robbery and assault in 2001. This is believed to be the first time a leech confirmed the identity of a criminal.
In Iowa City, a man was arrested for punching another man twice. The attacker accused the victim of being a zombie. The victim was ordering food when he was approached then verbally and physically assaulted. The suspect ran out a back door. The victim was taken by an ambulance to the hospital. His only injury was a broken nose. Would this be categorized as discrimination to another race? Whatever the charges are, the attacker probably has a decent chance at pleading insanity.
In Athens, Georgia, police are investigating an attempted burglary: a woman is believed to have scared off a potential intruder by acting like a dog. The woman crouched on the floor and began scratching at the door pretending to be a larger version of “man’s best friend” a suspicious man tried turning the woman’s doorknob. Though, the police report did not specify what kind of dog-like behaviors the woman mimicked. Barking, growling and other vicious noises are assumed. No judgment here. Whatever helps scare off an intruder is alright by me. Though, police have no further leads in the case.
In Colorado Springs, Colorado, an 88 year-old woman reached a major milestone. She had walked over 10,000 miles in memory of her husband. Did she walk from San Diego to the east coast and back a few times? Nah, she has been taking laps around the nursing home in which she resides. Since her husband’s death in 1998, she began walking in his memory. Despite the odd idea of laps around the home, it is actually quite the heartwarming story.
In Norway, a 22 year-old man has been arrested for the attempted smuggle of reptiles across the border. The man stashed his slimy friends underneath his clothes. There were 14 royal pythons and 10 albino leopard geckos. The pythons were stored in long stockings duct-taped to his abdomen. The geckos were confined to the cardboard boxes taped to his thighs. The officials only found the man’s reptiles after the discovery of a tarantula hidden in one of his bags.
To conclude this special feature of the internationally renowned “weird” reports from around the globe, how many of you now still consider a sentimental collection of pillow tags far from ordinary?